I think I messed up, big time.
Who would have thought that telling the truth would hurt so bad?
The problem is, I don't know if what I said was the truth.
And that makes me feel terrible, because if I'm deluding myself, then I really need to get my head straight and figure things out.
I'm walking a knife edge right now. There are only two safe ways to fall. The side I'm currently tempted to choose would probably only lead to disaster. The side I know i should choose, the other side, seems like the better choice, safer in the long run.
I have to choose a side or I'll be torn in half.
I don't want to have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart again.
I don't think I could.
Sometimes I really hate myself.
This is one of those times.
I need to make some changes.
I need to talk to Daniel.
I need a vacation from this vacation.
~marina
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