personality test

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.


trait snapshot:

changeable, in the middle, suspicious, somewhat traditional, dislikes chaos, down to earth, group oriented, practical... you scored in the middle on the overall factors of this test.

I knew it.

The answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything, is in fact 42.

Google proves it.

So ha.

Turkey Day

oooh boy.
I'd better get ready to do some MAJOR exercise tomorrow or I'll feel like I gained twenty pounds.
Or I could just not eat.

*laughchokedie*

That's a laugh.

So not much happening here at the Wolf Den at eight AM, I'm basically just chatting with Jeremy and wondering how a cold can migrate from my nose to my lungs.
Maybe it took a bus.
I don't know.

I also need to talk to Ashley and see if her friend can get us what we need. *crosses fingers*


"What happens when you strap a piece of bread, butter-side UP, to the back of a cat, then drop it off a building?"
"Well since the bread lands butter-side DOWN, it should land that way."
"But cats always land on their feet."
"Sooo.... you'd get antigravity?"
"No, it'd probably just land on its side and break some ribs, and start wriggling around on the sidewalk, meowing in pain."
"... Cool."

Interesting philosophy...

"Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route."

We put the "k" in "kwality"

Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

"Cedric Diggory- dead sexy, dead boring… just plain dead."

define: de thing you get for breaking de law.

A typical wednesday morning.

I started this post and realized immediately that I have absolutely nothing to talk about. Snap. Maybe i'll randomly search Wikipedia for interesting topics to research. For example: Started on Pink Floyd, ended up on LSD (not a big surprise) and then went off-site completely to Erowid.

Um...

Yeah.


The pimply wandering minstrel haphazardly whispered sweet nothings to the lightly-salted llama omelet. And you wonder why I'm not sane.

more random crap

Thank you, James, who let me borrow his burned copy of Indestructible.
All I have to do is get Believe now.

"This self discovery
Redemption taking hold of my mind
A serenade of haunting voices
Calling me away, to feast upon (the night)"

Yet again, I'm feeling like crap. Aches and pains that shoot straight to my bones. A sore throat and delirium lurking, waiting for me to be at my most vulnerable. Various other symptoms hitting me at different times... the feeling of leaden limbs, open and closed eye visuals (flashing lights and swirling colors), inability to concentrate, alteration of senses. Definitely the strangest thing I've ever experienced (well, there are two other things that come to mind, and one heading up the charts soon)

Anywaysss...

"Come inside, now I implore
Do you think you can restore
The crucial pieces missing from my brain
What seems to be the matter dear?
Why do you cry and shake with fear?
I've only had the best dub me insane

Please let me out
Please let me out
Please let me"
'Perfect Insanity' - Disturbed

So many of these songs describe what I'm feeling...
Especially Perfect Insanity, The Night, The Curse, and Haunted.

"My blood is cold as ice
Or so I have been told
Show no emotion, and it can destroy your soul
Another sacrifice, to a tormentor
Your world wouldn't understand
Turn away again
You're angered, so am I
A thousand fires burn
A land of darkness, from which I cannot return
You're aching, so will I
When I awake and
Discover that I've been damaged by your world
Dishonored by your world
Your world
I'm haunted by your world

(Never will I be welcome amongst the heartless
Monsters you surround yourself with
Feeding off the pain and misfortune of others
A maniacal breed of sub-human parasites
Thrown into a feeding frenzy with the smell
Of fresh blood
Open your eyes and see the creatures
For what they are
A swirling mass of hatred and envy
Don't be naive enough to think you're unaffected
The conversion has already begun)"

random update

Let me see... I haven't been on here all week. So here's how the rest of the week turned out.

Tuesday:
Returned victoriously to school.
Got sucked into the same rut that I usually do.
But it was an A day, I deal with them.
Ashley and I made plans for Monday... (Tomorrow! so excited! ^_^)
That's all I can remember

Wednesday:
Can't remember anything but the lesson in Food Choices.

Thursday:
Too much of a blur.

Friday:
Can't remember what happened during the day but the bus was late after school. Ended up home at the same time. Weird coincidence.
Also did some stuff I shouldn't have.
But it was Friday night, ya know? What else could I do? Rachel went to see Twilight and Becky was at a dance... I had nothing to do.
Bleh.

Saturday:
Sat around watching Sweeney Todd for the fifth time.
Ate ramen.
Got a call from cousin Robert asking if I could babysit for him in Wilamina (how the hell do you spell that?!?)
I said yes, figured I could earn some cash and a possibility of more cash haha... wow.
Planned a nacho party with ashley for next saturday...
Gonna rock.
If it happens.
Robert picked me up and drove me to his house, and I saw all my little cousins that I haven't seen for a year or two... Kelly is Becky's size now, she's nine. Cassie doesn't seem much different. Aubree's soooo cute... she's getting tall. She may be adorable but she latched onto my throat a few times... I think she was trying to kill me. I had forgotten completely that they had another kid! Riker, I think his name is. He's almost a year old... a cutie but always wandering into trouble. Flipped over the dog's water dish and proceeded to sail a GameBoy Advance game cartridge in the puddle. A boy after my own heart. Picked him up for the thousandth time and put him over by his pile of toys. It distracted him for a few minutes but after his interest waned he was off to more shenanigans. Smacked his head on a coffee table and cried for a few minutes, then fell asleep randomly. I decided to make myself some pasta, as I hadn't yet had dinner. They had a gas stove. I couldn't hardly stand the scent, but hey, I was hungry and it was 7:00. So I boiled water and threw in the pasta, Kelly insisted on testing it to see if it was ready. She threw a noodle at the wall and I laughingly explained to her that it was only going to stick if it were spaghetti (they were egg noodles). I had to make all three of the girls share the DS, but Cassie was satisfied watching Spongebob. The other two ended up sitting on the couch watching too. I changed Riker, fed him, and put him to bed. Cleaned up after Max, their dingo-pit bull-chocolate Lab puppy. Washed a sinkful of dishes and put them away. Finished cleaning up the dog's water bowl mess and tossed the wet towels in the laundry just as Robert and Katie came back.
Thus, I survived babysitting four kids, two cats, and a puppy.
And scored forty bucks.

Schweet.

already have plans for the above-mentioned cash.
Ashley knows it :P
This is going to totally ROCK.

I don't have much else to say though, so I guess I'll go look up some music that Ashley wanted me to listen to.

"You don't know what your power has done to me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses
Leaving me breathless, the reason I know..."

Sunday rundown.

Let me see....

I stayed up till two. Playing Tomb Raider.
Mom was kinda.... eh.
Rachel and I came up with a ton of funny inside jokes.
Woke up at nine.
Took a shower.
I had forgotten how good being completely clean feels.
Spot check. I have about three pocks left to scab over.
Did some homework.
Played Tomb Raider.
Kept playing Tomb Raider.
Got sick of it.
Laughed as Rachel, Becky, and Ryan messed around with helium.
Twas HILARIOUS.
We had dinner. Oh joy.
I've finished my homework and I've been blogging ever since.
And watching Degrassi which is confusing the hell out of me.
So... I'm gonna jet.
Sis needs the computer for "homework"
Guten Nacht.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - fear of long words.

Here's a random idea and starter for a realistic fiction short story. Based off of my own life but changed a bit.

There is a disorder in which a part of your brain does not allow you to recognize faces.
Prosopagnosia. Face blindness.
You cannot possibly imagine what it's like. The feeling of not recognizing anyone in a crowd is your daily struggle. You don't recognize your mom, your siblings, your friends, by sight. Their voices and clothes are all you can recognize. Everything else is strangely familiar.
The worst part is that you look in the mirror and the person looking back at you is always a total stranger.

My name is Amelia. I'm sixteen.
I had to take notes on my appearance earlier.
My eyes are blue, my hair is a generic shade of brown and of average length. Somewhere between curly and straight. Lucky for me there's nothing particularly remarkable about my looks.
As a matter of fact, there is nothing remarkable about me in general, except for the prosopagnosia.
I have three best friends, Ashley, Amanda, and Chris, and an amazing boyfriend, Thomas. I don't think I could possibly have gotten this far in high school without their support.
It's my second-to-last year of public school. I want to tell the world how strange living with this disorder is.
The world will know.

Boredom and Breaking Benjamin

Yes I've been listening to Breaking Benjamin. Too precious for my taste.

Besides that, I have to write a paper on what I learned about the Wright Brothers five days ago. Like I remember.
And make a pizza for Food Choices.
Oh, not to mention algebra homework.
And fisheries.
Staying home from school = crap.
But I'll be going back soon.

"Put me to sleep, evil angel
Open your wings, evil angel
Fly over me, evil angel
Why can't I breathe, evil angel?"

"Are you breathing?"

"Are you breathing, no,
Do the wicked see you?
You still breathing,
You're making me known..."

This song is psychotic. I love it.
Becky is cooking ramen. My favorite.

"I can hear the voice
But I don't wanna listen
Strap me down
And tell me i'll be alright
I can feel the subliminal need
To be one with the voice
And make everything alright"

"Voices" - Disturbed

Less than philosophical.

Basically this is how today has gone.
Woke up at eight thirty.
Electric blanket was too hot.
Checked my phone. 4 new texts.
3 horoscopes and one Myspace alert. New message from Kevin.
Went downstairs and ate Frosted Mini Spooners.
Played a little bit of Tomb Raider.
Asked Dad to use the computer.
Cleaned out my Yahoo! inbox.
Started blogging.
Remembered about the Myspace message.
Answered it.
Continued blogging.
Listened to Disturbed.
Talked about Twilight with Becky.
Ate some yogurt.
Spot check.
One pock has shown improvement.
Took some medicine.
Read Sam's blog.
Sat around listening to Disturbed.
Read Sam's blog again.
Smiled for the first time all day.
Finished a playlist of 33 Disturbed songs.
Where's "Down With The Sickness"?
Must have accidentally deleted it.
Decided to blog a running record of events again.


"Awaken you, with a little evil inside
Feed on your nothing, you'll never live up to me"
"Awaken" - Disturbed

Random thought.

Sometimes, I want to be the kind of person that people look up to.
A person that makes people think about who they are.
Makes them change their minds about the facade they hide behind.

I wish I had the confidence to just be me. To be nothing but everything I am. But I have low self-esteem. In my mind, if i'm myself, people will think I'm too cocky and full of myself, I don't want that.

To tell the truth, I care a lot about what people think. And even comments that are meant to be funny really hurt.

Love

There's something to be said for love.
It's great, don't get me wrong.
It hurts like hell though.

You know that saying?
The more love you give, the more you have?
It's completely true.

And so many different kinds.
Friend love, best friend love,
Real love.

You can love your pet,
Your best friend,
You can even love a rock.

The Eskimo language
has thirty two words for love.
All different kinds.

Why do we have one?

Disturbed.

"Sons of Plunder" - Disturbed

"Come on, can't you just leave it alone
It doesn't have any soul
Just find a thing of your own
And stop pretending to know

As the countless numbers hunger
For worldwide renown
All the pimping sons of plunder
Will roll up their sleeves
All searching for the answers
They don't even care to know
Give it to me, give it to me
You like it?"

These lyrics remind me of another song by them... "Intoxication."
But in a different sort of way.
"Sons of Plunder" is about Disturbed's sound being different, and not the norm. The lyrics indicate that almost all music sounds the same, the artists don't put their hearts into it. They just write for money. People don't dare to write and perform songs about topics that may be a little strange, a little controversial.

That's why I love Disturbed.

The raw power they throw into their music is a refreshing change from all the normal hip-hop/rap/pop that surrounds us day-to-day. David's vocal talent that cannot be replicated, Dan's amazing guitar solos, Mike's killer percussion style, and John's sometimes overlooked bass lines.
All combined, it's one kick-ass band.
They have the flexibility to do songs like "Stupify" and "Down With The Sickness," high-energy, noise, and pure metal, to songs like "Overburdened" and "Believe," focusing more on the lyrical side of music. The most lyrical song they have performed is "Darkness," which is such a mellow-sounding song I barely recognized the artist. It's the perfect track to end the Believe album.

Album review:

Indestructible is very much like The Sickness, bearing down on the power, the sweeping feeling that the music gives you, almost dragging you through the songs. "Perfect Insanity" is the perfect example. The overall meanings of the songs are not entirely obscured by the music. My favorites off this album are "Indestructible," "Inside The Fire," "The Night," "Perfect Insanity," "Haunted," "The Curse," "Torn," "Criminal," "Divide," and "Facade." The whole album is a Disturbed fan's dream come true.

Ten Thousand Fists. So much to say about this album. Many of my favorite Disturbed songs are from this album. "Stricken," a classic. "Ten Thousand Fists," a very energetic song. "Sons of Plunder," not only lyrical but has a great beat. "Overburdened," different than some other songs, very mellow, very melancholy. "Forgiven," somewhat sadistic. A fallen soldier forgives his killer, because he knows the killer will die soon as well. "Land of Confusion," a cover of the original recording by Genesis. Same political theme, but a bit more palatable for the hard rock listener. "Pain Redefined," the lyrics are so meaningful to me, I have nothing else to say. Overall, the perfect blend of driving beats and thought-inducing lyrics.

Believe. David Draiman noted that the album was published shortly after his grandfather died. This is a tribute to him, and a bit different than other Disturbed songs. The songs focus more on meaning than on the music itself. Ended with "Darkness," this album leaves the listener with thoughts to sort through, emotions to feel, and a lingering sense of sadness that pervades the whole CD.

The Sickness. Raw. Power. This CD went TRIPLE PLATINUM, ladies and gentlemen. The pounding beat of "Down With The Sickness," the persuading feel to "Stupify," and the slightly psychotic feel of "Voices" seem to be the most popular from the album. Notable is the cover of Tears for Fears' "Shout." Disturbed throws in some unique guitar riffs and a familiar line... "As cold as ice (not that you're ice, ice baby)" "The Game" is also fairly decent, and "Droppin' Plates," although somewhat dull, is a slap in the face to the people who said Disturbed couldn't possibly go far with their sound. "Meaning of Life," erm... a bit suggestive, not one of their best songs. Not bad, though.

My review of chicken pox.

Okay, first off.

It itches.

A LOT.

Blisters... Little red bumps with clear heads, like zits but not really.
Everywhere.
Mostly on my torso but one is all by itself on the back of my knee.
Luckily I've only had them for two days so far so none have burst (yuch)
I want to pop them, buuuut that's not a good idea.

As if the pox itself wasn't bad enough, boredom rears its ugly head.
I watched Sweeney Todd yesterday. Twice.
Downloaded some of the music today.
Played Tomb Raider for Wii and chucked the Nunchuk across the room in frustration.
Scratched a little.
Made soup and bread and took it to my boyfriend, who stayed home today too, with a cold.
Came home.
Scratched some more.
Ripped music from Ten Thousand Fists and The Sickness.
Put the music on my phone.
Made a mix CD for Kevin.
Ate a bowl of cereal.
Drank some hydrocodone.
Ate another bowl of cereal.
Danced like an idiot.
Took some Benadryl.
Thought about an oatmeal bath.
Decided I didn't want to smell like breakfast.
Scratched some more.
Cooked some chicken-flavored Top Ramen.
Ate another bowl of cereal.
Took more hydrocodone.
Sat down at the computer and started to blog.
Scratched some more.
So now that it's up to date...
I have nothing further to write about.
So now I'm going to record what happens from here on.
Scratch a little.
I don't give a damn anymore. It itches.
Wonder if Devynn would enjoy my ponderings...
Becky brought me a brownie.
It has Oreo pieces on it.
And chocolate syrup.
Tastes like barbecue.
Swing my feet.
My phone buzzed.
Hang on.
Sam thanked me for taking care of him.
Duhh. It's my job.
Take another bite of brownie.
Fruit fly. Go away.
Ryan has a fan or something.
He's talking about Bingo.
Okayyyy....
Told me to shut up.
I'm typing and he's reading over my shoulder.
Go away, ryan.
please?
pretty please?
With a cherry on top?
Buzzz... hold on.
The dog sneezed.
Poor thing.
He has a fan and he's blowing it in her ear
Buzz.
Forgot to feed the dog.
whoops.
Eat the rest of the brownie.
stick, stick, stick.
My fingers are sticky.
I think I'm going insane.
Do hydrocodone and benadryl mix badly?
Maybe it was a freaky reaction of ramen and cereal.
whatever.
I need a life.
People need to talk to me.
Gotta check my phone.
Burp.
'Scuse me.
Crack my neck.
Oww.
Oww.
That's it.
Four knuckles pop.
I have a hangnail.
And a text.
Scratch some more.
Elbows won't pop.
My scalp is burning.
Morgenstern means morning star.
Engel is angel.
Tier is animal.
Himmel is heaven.
Marina is Marina.
Sam is Sam.
Kevin is Kevin.
Is that right?
Another text.
Told Sam I was blogging.
He thinks MySpace is the devil.
[I agree]
My scalp is still burning.
Kick my feet, scrape, scrape, scrape.
Text.
Run my nails over my scalp.
Burns. Still itches.
Gotta end this soon. I ate my weight in Frosted Mini Spooners today. I feel like a fatty. Only it's all good. I have a right to be lazy.

"Könnt ihr mich hören?
Wir hören dich
Könnt ihr mich sehen?
Wir sehen dich
Könnt ihr mich fühlen?
Wir fühlen dich
Ich versteh euch nicht"

Translation:
"Can you hear me?
(We hear you)
Can you see me?
(We see you)
Can you feel me?
(We feel you)
I don't understand you"

"Ich Will" (I want) - Rammstein

Holy chicken pox.

I haven't been here for what seems like EVER.
It's been a year and a half.
And now I have the chicken pox.
And I'm sick of eating cereal and ramen.
GAH!