The Device Has Been Modified.

First three terms of college are done. Not a great start, but I'm still trying to get into the swing of things.

Anyhow, Oregon is trying to drown us again, and we only get a day or two of decent weather in between weeks of rain, rain, rain. Nevertheless, I have had some interesting days so far this summer, and my shoreline ecology class starts in about 20 days.

Now that I've changed my prospective major, I should be able to care more about my classes, and as a result, get better grades. That's what I'm hoping for, at least.

Beach trip and/or racing tomorrow, I'd best be off to bed... after playing some more Portal 2 of course.

Good night all!

~Marina

The Town of Bayocean.

A few miles north of Oceanside, my favorite beach, lies the town of Bayocean. One day, on a whim, Jay and I drove up to the Tillamook Spit to see the town, only to find a long gravel road ending at a narrow field. We turned around, confused, and never thought much of it.

A month ago, during an ecology lecture, Dr. Knight asked if anyone had heard of the town of Bayocean. I was the only one of 75 people to raise my hand. He then told us a brief history.

Bayocean was, in its time, a thriving resort town. Entering Tillamook Bay from the ocean, though, was difficult and dangerous, so the town asked the Army to build them a jetty. The Army engineers suggested that they build two jetties, at a cost of $2.2 million. The town settled on only one jetty, which vastly improved the ease of travel. However, the redirected seawater began to erode away the beaches. Before long, the entire town fell into the sea. All that remains is the sign at the southern city limits, and a recreational area full of broken, exposed pipes.

I feel a kinship with the story of this town. I feel as if I'm slowly slipping away from my friends, that nobody really listens to me (with the exception of my family and a few very close friends), and that someday I'll be so withdrawn that nobody will remember me. Maybe if I make some changes, I'll turn this feeling around...

Anyways, the cool sea air was definitely what I needed to clear my mind, and it was a beautiful day.

~Marina

Open Water.

This weekend was one of the best weekends of my life.

Open water dive weekend.

It took us nearly 5 hours to get to Mike's Beach Resort, about 10 minutes north of Hoodsport, Washington. There was a ridiculous number of bunk beds, enough for every person to have at least two beds to themselves.

Saturday morning, we wake up at 7:30 when Norm comes in and starts singing 'uppy, uppy, little guppies!' We scarf down pancakes, bacon, and eggs, and drag our dive bags to the staging area just above the beach. 30 minutes later, we've struggled into our wetsuits, jackets, hoods, gloves, and boots, and gotten our BCDs set up and tested. The water, according to the divemasters, is 'warm' that day, at about 50 degrees. We slip on masks, BCDs and fins and wade in.
That first dive is both terrifying and exhilarating. Our plan was to go down as a group, 8 students and 4 divemasters, and take a quick tour around the dive site. Once we dropped down to 20 feet, though, there was so much dust and debris kicked up that the visibility dropped to under a foot. If I hadn't latched onto Dan, I would have been fumbling around alone. We lost the group and my dive buddy, but Dan decides we'll tour around anyways. Once we get down to about 50 feet the water cleared up, and I saw all sorts of rockfish, sculpins, and massive anemones and sun stars.
We regrouped at the surface 30 minutes later, and everyone was in stitches about how difficult it was to stick to the plan. We get out, switch tanks, stand around during our surface interval, then go back in.
We started out with surface skills for the second dive, but after we're done, Dan takes us for an actual dive. Carl swims off by himself (which became a regular occurence) but I follow Dan. We come across a sunken boat, and I sit on top of it while Dan swims around with his light. He motions for me to come look at something. Under the boat was a massive 8 1/2 foot Pacific octopus and her eggs. She was magnificent. We go back up and tell the other divers about her, and they are shocked that we saw an octopus on our second dive.
We get out again, swap tanks, and go inside. Everyone is desperate to wash the salt off their skin. I took, by far, the best shower I have ever taken.
After dinner, we went back out for our third dive and did more surface skills. Our plan then is to go as a group to see the octopus. We really should have learned the first time. The minute we dropped down, the dust kicked up and I lost sight of everyone except Norm, our instructor. I followed him around as he tried to round up the others, but we couldn't find anyone, so we surfaced. Lo and behold, everyone had surfaced immediately after they went down. We went the difficult way, surface swimming to the approximate location then dropping down to the boat. Everyone kept as still as possible and we packed ourselves in around the boat to see the octopus. Once people had their fill, we dragged ourselves out of the water once again.
We all shower off again and collapse into chairs and onto beds. The owner of the resort lets us know that he will be playing Resident Evil: Afterlife in the cinema downstairs. I watched most of it, taking a break in the middle to celebrate Norm's birthday with cake and ice cream. At 10, I am completely wiped out and I crash.
Sunday, 7 AM, we all get up and start cleaning up trash and putting our clothes and towels in our bags. We have one more dive, and only one skill - underwater navigation. I take a bearing on the beach and we head out one last time. The visibility is great this time, since we only go in groups of three. Carl disappeared for a while but we settled into a simple formation after a while. We hover around the 'appliance reef', and pull kelp crabs out of the tires. Once our time is nearly up, we use our compasses to find our way back. During our safety stop, I see a blur of pink a short distance away, and I swim over to find a massive five-armed sea star, 4 feet across.
We get out of the water as newly certified open-water divers. Kelly takes a graduation picture of us as we throw our snorkels in the air. We grab breakfast and pack up, and drive 4 hours home.

Overall, it was a wonderful experience and I cannot wait to go diving again.

~Marina

Addition: List of injuries acquired.
Sprained both ankles
Blisters from wetsuit seams
Abrasions on hands from neoprene
Sunburn
Sore, knotted muscles everywhere
Bruise on wrist
Bruises on hips from weight belt
Assorted scratches and bruises

Want You Gone.

I really don't think I'm cut out for this...

~Marina

"Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice."

This Post is Full of Win.

See? I told you! What could better represent win than the noble, gleaming cranium of Captain Picard?

You know, I went back in the archives of my blog today and read every post. It made me realize just how much I've grown up over the past few years.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm getting old already, as in geriatric old.

I might as well forgo my first car and get a motorized scooter instead.

Maybe I'm just incredibly tired.

College can seem ridiculously overwhelming, especially when you cover an entire sheet of notebook paper with your list of assignments and exam dates and pin it to the wall next to your pillow. It seems even more overwhelming when you can't go to sleep without first reciting the items and their respective dates over and over.

However, I can look at the bright side. Portal 2 was just released two hours ago, and I hope to venture back into the Enrichment Center very soon!

~Marina

Welcome to Mystery.

"This is a time without history
Welcome to mystery."

- "Welcome to Mystery" - Plain White T's

Another valid lyric...

"I wanna see your face and know I made it home
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you"

- "Painting Flowers" - All Time Low

Both of these songs are a little sad, and that's how I'm feeling.

I've lost a good friend because his girlfriend doesn't like me. That's that, I suppose. I shouldn't dwell on it, it will only cause me pain.

Other than that, I'm buried under a mountain of homework that I have to finish by Friday, so I should get on that.

Hoping for sunnier skies and better moods in the coming days.

~Marina

A Story of Lost Love.

Once upon a time, there was a boy with red hair and blue-green eyes. He grew up to be a strong young man. The young man had a dream: to fight in a war and serve his country. He joined the military.
Before he left for his training, though, the young man's life changed; he met a girl that captured his heart. She seemed perfectly average; average height, average weight, plain brown hair and blue eyes. But her laugh was infectious, her wit like a razor, and most of all, she was gentle, selfless, and accepting of the young man's ways.
They were good friends right away, and they fell swiftly and completely for each other shortly thereafter.
The young man left for another country, but he gave the girl a token to remember him: his first set of dogtags from basic training. She wore them every day and rarely took them off. Every few days, they would email each other, and the girl was always elated to hear from him. They talked about love, vacations they would take when he came home, and even marriage after a while. As the long months wore on, the girl's love for her young man only grew stronger.
But one day she recieved a phone call from him. She was immediately worried about the pained tone in his voice. He told her that he had been injured when his vehicle drove over an explosive. He was okay, he told her, but his injuries were pretty severe. They talked a bit more, then they parted once more with their customary "I love you"s and "I'll talk to you soon"s.
The young man was finally sent home after a year overseas. They had a fight shortly before he arrived in town, but he still agreed to come over for Christmas dinner with her family. Everyone was thrilled to see him. There was a horribly awkward space between the girl and the young man, and she worried that it would be the last time they would see each other. After dinner, he invited her to talk outside. She stood on the porch, shivering in the cold December air, as he broodingly smoked a cigarette. The young man finally turned to her and apologized for the argument, and she too apologized. They held each other close, and all was forgiven. He went back across the country for another few months.
But not even two months later, only a few days after Valentine's Day, the young man called the girl. He was now angry at her, and she didn't know why. They fought for a while, and he ended the call after breaking up with her.
The girl was heartbroken. She cried softly in her room for a while, then for the first time in over a year, she took the young man's dogtags from around her neck, and placed them gently in a drawer.
Many months later, the young man called her again. He apologized, and they talked for a while, but there was no sign of the loving closeness of their old conversations. The girl had become a young woman, and had moved on and fallen in love with another man. The young man had married a woman across the country, and divorced her shortly after.
They still talk, but their conversations are those of long-lost lovers quietly remembering what they let go so long ago.

"It seems a cold world without something... more."

"On the contrary," said Oromis, "it is a better world. A place where we are responsible for our own actions, where we can be kind to one another because we want to and because it is the right thing to do instead of being frightened into behaving by the threat of divine punishment..."

-Eldest by Chris Paolini, pg. 544


"For what is time? Who could find any quick or easy answer to that? Who could even grasp it in his thought clearly enough to put the matter into words? Yet is there anything to which we refer in conversation with more familiarity, any matter of more common experience, than time? And we know perfectly well what we mean when we speak of it, and understand just as well when we hear someone else refer to it. What, then, is time? If no one asks me, I know; if I want to explain it to someone who asks me, I do not know... Now, what about these two times, past and future: in what sense do they have real being, if the past no longer exists and the future does not exist yet?"

-(14, 17) of Confessions, book 11, by St. Augustine.


"As for me, all I know is that I know nothing."

- Socrates

These three quotes reflect three views I have in life. Thanks to my philosophy class (which is a lot more difficult than I had initially expected) I have begun to question what I do and do not know, which, according to Socrates, is nothing.

But you know what? I think I'm fine with that.

Sure, it may seem a bit dreadful to think about. Everyone wants to believe they know something. But in the overall scheme of things, it's impossible to really know anything, no matter how basic. And understanding that you do not know anything, in this instance, can be comforting.

Augustine's approach to what time is, initially, was baffling on two accounts. The first is that philosophy, in and of itself, is farily difficult to read. The second is that it's such a valid way to frame time. We all know what we're talking about when we talk about time, but to accurately describe it is another thing entirely. To say that time is hours, minutes, and seconds, is a start, but it only describes how we measure time's passage and not the concepts of it. And to think of the past is to recall images that we have stored due to our sensory input, but this is not to say that the past still exists. This brings thoughts to my mind that are bittersweet. We can let go of painful instances in the past, as the past no longer exists. We shouldn't dread the future for what it may hold that is painful, because not only does it not exist yet, but it will pass into the present and shortly thereafter, to the past.

The first quote (and I realize that I have just addressed the quotes in reverse order, it was not intentional but it is amusing to some degree) is not philosophic in origin but it rings of a philosophical statement, though crude. Perhaps I'm just used to philosophy being posed in the diction of the ancient Greeks. This quote is far into the story of Eragon, the newest Dragon Rider, when he is asking his instructor, Oromis, about the religion of the elves. When Oromis answers that the elves do not worship any sort of higher power, Eragon is startled, and says, "it seems a cold world without something more." What Oromis says in response struck a chord in me, as I have been through many phases in my quest for beliefs that religion has yet to satisfy. I was baptized a Roman Catholic, studied Buddhism, delved into Wicca, and finally settled on holding no strong religious ties. The world of science seems more reasonable to me than the world of theology. Each person must find their own way through life, and though others choose an omnicient being, I choose logic and reason. This is not to say, however, that the followers of religion are wrong, as many people feel that I am wrong for 'not believing in anything.' I simply differ in the way that I believe that I am capable of making decisions based on what I have learned and what I expect, nothing more, nothing less. How you choose to be a good person is up to you and you alone.

I feel that I've exhausted my current thoughts, as well as my word choice. Though some of my grammar may be incorrect, I enjoy stretching my vocabulary and making everything fit, and it's never a crime to be well-spoken.

As spoken by many a wise soul...
Atra esterni ono thelduin, mor'ranr lifa unin hjarta onr, un du evarinya ono varda.

~Marina

To Those Who Lost Their Lives in Japan This Week.

Godspeed to you.

~Marina

Workin' For The Weekend

I am convinced that without weekends, we'd all go mad.

Thankfully, Saturdays (in particular) are the perfect days to be as lazy as possible.



This may be an obvious statement, but the point is that we NEED relaxation. There is too much stress in our lives, and if we don't give ourselves time to rest and reflect, we tend to be a lot more unhappy.

So take a few minutes today and just be lazy. Think about somewhere you'd like to go. Make yourself a tasty snack. Give yourself a break from a hectic life. You deserve it.

You'll thank yourself for it, I promise.

~Marina

(Watermelon photo from weheartit.com, cat photo taken by me.)

Solar Sailor

When you are constantly tired, time loses its normal structure. You find that the enjoyable parts of your day become something like a dream. The less enjoyable parts drag on and on, and you note each second that passes.

Pink Floyd, as usual, describes it perfectly.

"And you run, and you run
To catch up with the sun
But it's sinking
And racing around
To come up behind you again"

"Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time"

It occured to me that not only was New Year's Eve two months ago, but I'm rapidly approaching my 19th birthday.

Some days, I spend hours thinking about making the most of my life, and I cannot fathom why I feel like I'm in such a rut.

I think the problem is the same that I face this time of year. It's March, there are a few weeks until break, and then a few months until summer. It's the second semester quagmire. I'm on autopilot. My sole purpose is to go to class and stay awake long enough to take adequate notes.

I get my mental clarity back after 11 PM or so, when I can lounge on my bedroom floor for a while and listen to music, and REALLY get into it. I can turn up the volume all the way and nobody complains about hearing it from my headphones. There's nothing to write down, nothing I'm obligated to do, and I can just enjoy myself.

It's my favorite time of day.

And I think my summery music is keeping me sane. I miss the sun.

~Marina

Little Fluffy Clouds

Yeah, I'm awake at 3 AM, despite my lack of sleep in the last week. This is, of course, after I fell asleep four hours ago.

Happy 10-month anniversary to me.
A whole day of classes on a few hours of sleep, then another few hours of sleep.

The reason I'm up is that horrible, ridiculous, cramping, burning pain I'm all too familiar with.

Yeah... I've gone and landed myself with another freaking UTI.

This is not an uncommon thing, but it has moved on to my kidneys before, and I sure as hell don't want that to happen again.

The dilemma - try to go back to sleep? Or stay up all night and drink water, writhing in oh-so-obvious pain?

Tough decision, eh? I just don't want to have to go back to the doctor... But at the same time, I don't want to have my day off ruined because I feel too awful to enjoy anything.

Doesn't help anything that my phone is pulling its typical hijinks.
Phone: Oh, guess what?
Me: What?
Phone: I'm going to frustrate you to death with my 'cellular data off' message every time you try to text!
Me: WHYYY?
Phone: Oh! And guess what else!
Me: WHAT ELSE?
Phone: I'm going to let you charge my battery completely, then proceed to die in a few hours without you having done anything! Hahaha, aren't I fun?
Me: GODDAMNIT YOU WILL DO WHAT I ASK AND LIKE IT!
-restores iPhone software-
HaHA! Who's laughing now?
Phone: -reduces battery power by half- Haha! Meeee!

I don't know WHY it believes this is fun, but if it happens again, I'm switching back to my Tilt, because an iPhone is just not worth the hassle.

~Marina

Stay

I long for summer. I miss the open blue sky, spending all day in the sun, having nothing to do but relax and enjoy three months of rest.

Getting away from the college stress sounds really good right now.

Most of all, I love being outdoors. Walking around in the nature preserve, or taking a trip to Oceanside or Pacific City, getting a coffee at Brewin' in the Wind or some clam chowder and an oyster shooter at Mo's.

It's the time of year I feel most alive.

~Marina

Sometimes, you need to just find a moment of beauty in a hectic day.

Finally Moving

I have now gone without gluten or dairy for a month, and the effects are rather astounding.

Since being home, but mostly in the last month, I have lost 20 pounds. My skin is much clearer, with fewer breakouts. I feel healthier, albeit a bit hungry, and it has made an impact on my family and Jay.

I'm fairly certain that it must be irritating, having two children in the house that are on very strict diets. (Rachel is a vegetarian, I'm no dairy or gluten.)

Anyhow, I'm really impressed with the diet.

~Marina

Pretty Lights

Once again, my dear friend Kevin has proven himself to be awesome. He introduced me to the artist Pretty Lights, and let me tell you, Pretty Lights is one genre-bending musical mastermind. I didn't think it possible to combine hip hop, classic rock, techno, and psychedelic rock, but believe me, the result is simply mind-blowing.

Today's random overheard quote!
"...I mean, come on, I've only been out of jail for two weeks..."

~Marina

Mad World

"And I find it kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had."

-"Mad World" - Gary Jules (or Tears For Fears)


The sense of emptiness I feel on a daily basis is not only mine.

It's a mutual feeling shared by all under the burden of 12 or more credit hours a week or a similar amount of stress in their lives.

It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

~Marina

My Life Story - The Prologue

While texting Kevin today, I mentioned an interesting fact about myself.
When I'm bored or just feeling good in a lazy sort of way, I unconsciously speak with a slight southern drawl. Keep in mind, I live in the northwest part of Oregon and have never been to any southern states.
Nevertheless, it happens.
When I told him about this, he replied in a very unique way. Here is his reply.

Kevin:
"What a strange phenomenon ;) Mayhaps... You were a southern in another life. A pioneer cutting across the country in a covered wagon... until you died of pneumonia one sad autumn night. The whole wagon train mourned for days, as you were their favorite cook. However, as they proceeded onward and eventually made it to Oregon, your soul followed them because of how strong your living ambition was.
Eventually Marina was born and you were like 'yo, it'd be pretty chill to be alive again.' And voila!"

Me:
"That's a lot better than my hypothesis about half my mom's family being from southern Oregon. :P"

Kevin:
"They aren't mutually exclusive :) so your wandering soul found a lady from southern Oregon and was like 'yo, I'm gonna kick it in this baby for a while and see what's up"

Me:
"This is going in a blog post for sure."

Kevin:
"Your life story: The prologue."

This is why I love Kevin.

~Marina

The Big Twenty-Oh.

200 posts, most of them about nothing! Something to celebrate! Yay!

In honor of this, I present to you,

200 Songs That Rock.
(In My Opinion.)

1. A-Teens
- "Upside Down"
2-9. Across The Universe Soundtrack
- "Hold Me Tight"
- "Dear Prudence"
- "I Am The Walrus"
- "Strawberry Fields Forever"
- "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
- "Across The Universe"
- "Hey Jude"
- "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"
10. Agatsuma
- "Beams"
11-12. All Time Low
- "Lost In Stereo (Remix)"
- "Hello, Brooklyn"
13-14. Animal Collective
- "My Girls"
- "Summertime Clothes"
15. Aperture Science
- "Still Alive"
16. Aunt Hilda (Shane Dawson)
- "Last Sunday Night"
17-18. Avril Lavigne
- "Girlfriend"
- "What The Hell"
19. B.o.B.
- "Airplanes"
20-21. Bad Company
- "Feel Like Making Love"
- "Shooting Star"
22-23. Basshunter
- "Angel In The Night"
- "Jingle Bells"
24. Bishop Allen
- "Middle Management"
25. The Black Keys
- "Meet Me In The City"
26. Blink-182
- "M+M's"
27. Blue Foundation
- "Eyes On Fire (Zeds Dead Remix)"
28. Blues Brothers Soundtrack
- "Shake A Tail Feather"
29. Boys Like Girls
- "The Great Escape"
30. Brewer & Shipley
- "One Toke Over The Line"
31. Broken Bells
- "The Ghost Inside"
32. Caspa & Rusko
- "Terminator"
33. Chairlift
- "Bruises"
34. The Charlatans
- "Blackened Blue Eyes"
35-36. Cobra Starship
- "Living In The Sky With Diamonds"
- "Send My Love To The Dancefloor, I'll See You In Hell (Hey Mister DJ)"
37. Crazy Fingers
- "Birthday Song (Peace The Positive)"
38. David Bowie
- "Underground"
39. The Dead 60s
- "Riot Radio"
40. Dead Or Alive
- "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)"
41-43. Deadmau5
- "Ghosts N Stuff"
- "Moar Ghosts N Stuff"
- "Strobe"
44. Death Cab For Cutie
- "I Will Possess Your Heart"
45-48. Dire Straits
- "Money For Nothing"
- "Sultans Of Swing"
- "Twisting By The Pool"
- "Walk of Life"
49. DJ MNS vs. E-Maxx
- "Pump My Bass"
50. The Doobie Brothers
- "Nobody"
51-55. Dropkick Murphys
- "Fields Of Athenry"
- "Bastards On Parade"
- "Dirty Glass"
- "I'm Shipping Up To Boston"
- "The Auld Triangle"
56. Duck Sauce
- "Barbra Streisand"
57-59. The Eagles
- "Hotel California"
- "Life In The Fast Lane"
- "Desperado"
60. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes
- "Home"
61-64. Emigrate
- "Emigrate"
- "My World"
- "New York City"
- "I Have A Dream"
65. Enrique Iglesias
- "I Like It"
66. Explosions In The Sky
- "Your Hand In Mine"
67. Falco
- "Rock Me Amedeus"
68-71. Fall Out Boy
- "The (Shipped) Gold Standard"
- "Tiffany Blews"
- "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"
- "Fame < Infamy"
72. Fatty Spins
- "Doin' Your Mom"
73. The Flaming Lips
- "The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song"
74-76. Fleet Foxes
- "Ragged Wood"
- "Mykonos"
- "Your Protector"
77-82. Flogging Molly
- "Drunken Lullabies"
- "What's Left of the Flag"
- "If I Ever Leave This World Alive"
- "Black Friday Rule"
- "Devil's Dance Floor"
- "Seven Deadly Sins"
83. Freak Nasty
- "Da Dip"
84. Gerry Rafferty
- "Baker Street"
85-90. Grateful Dead
- "Friend Of The Devil"
- "Franklin's Tower"
- "Althea"
- "Estimated Prophet"
- "Terrapin Station"
- "Uncle John's Band"
91-93. Hadouken!
- "Rebirth"
- "Oxygen"
- "Mecha Love"
94. Hey Monday
- "I Don't Wanna Dance"
95. HIM
- "In Venere Veritas"
96. I Am X-Ray
- "Pretty Rave Girl"
97. Jay Sean
- "Down"
98. Jefferson Airplane
- "Come On And Take A Free Ride"
99. Jim Carrey
- "I Am The Walrus"
100. Jimi Hendrix
- "Bold As Love"
101-103. Jimmy Buffett
- "Cheeseburger In Paradise"
- "Jolly Mon Sing"
- "Fins"
104-109. John Kilzer
- "Green, Yellow, and Red"
- "Red Blue Jeans"
- "Give Me A Highway"
- "Dream Queen"
- "If Sidewalks Talked"
- "When Fools Say Love"
110-111. John Travolta
- "Greased Lightning"
- "We Go Together"
112. Journey
- "Don't Stop Believin'"
113-116. Ke$ha
- "TiK ToK"
- "Blah Blah Blah"
- "Cannibal"
- "We R Who We R"
117. Kevin Rudolf
- "Welcome to the World"
118. Kid Cudi
- "Up Up & Away (The Wake & Bake Song)"
119. Kottonmouth Kings
- "Rainy Daze"
120. Lady Gaga
- "Telephone"
121. Machinima
- "Taste The Cake"
122. Matt & Kim
- "Daylight"
123. Maximo Park
- "Apply Some Pressure"
124. Meat Loaf
- "Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul"
125. The Medic Droid
- "Fer Sure"
126-127. Metric
- "Front Row"
- "Help I'm Alive"
128-129. MGMT
- "Electric Feel (Justice Remix)"
- "Kids"
130. Morningwood
- "Nth Degree"
131. Night Ranger
- "Sister Christian"
132. Noah & The Whale
- "5 Years' Time"
133. O-Zone
- "Dragostea Din Tei"
134. OAR
- "Hey Girl"
135-137. Of Montreal
- "Disconnect The Dots"
- "Lysergic Bliss"
- "Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games"
138. Old Crow Medicine Show
- "Wagon Wheel"
139. Outasight
- "Good Evening (Dream Big)"
140. Owl City
- "Peppermint Winter"
141. Panic! At The Disco
- "Nine In The Afternoon"
142-145. Passion Pit
- "Better Things"
- "Sleepyhead"
- "The Reeling"
- "Little Secrets"
146. Phoenix
- "1901"
147-148. Pink Floyd
- "Money"
- "Shine On You Crazy Diamond"
149-150. Rammstein
- "Ich Tu Dir Weh"
- "Morgenstern"
151. Ravers On Dope
- "Get High"
152. The Ready Set
- "Love Like Woe"
153. The Real Tuesday Weld
- "Last Words"
154. Richard O'Brien
- "Time Warp"
155-156. Riley Armstrong
- "A Calendar For Clean Water"
- "Cell Phone"
157. Say Anything
- "Alive With The Glory of Love"
158. Schnappi
- "Schnappi, das Kleine Krokodil"
159. Scorpions
- "Rock You Like a Hurricane"
160. Shakira
- "She Wolf"
161. She Wants Revenge
- "I Don't Want To Fall In Love"
162. Shiny Toy Guns
- "Le Disko"
163. Sky Sailing
- "Brielle"
164-166. Slightly Stoopid
- "Ocean"
- "Closer To The Sun"
- "Sweet Honey"
167. Social Distortion
- "Reach For The Sky"
168. Steppenwolf
- "Magic Carpet Ride"
169. Steve Miller Band
- "Swingtown"
170-171. Stevie Ray Vaughan
- "Pipeline"
- "Voodoo Chile (Slight Return)"
172. Styx
- "Come Sail Away"
173. Technohead
- "I Wanna Be a Hippie"
174. Third Eye Blind
- "Semi-Charmed Life"
175. The Ting Tings
- "That's Not My Name"
176. Toy Box
- "Witch Doctor"
177-178. Tune Up!
- "Colors of the Rainbow"
- "Ravers Fantasy"
179. UB40
- "Red Red Wine"
180. Vampire Weekend
- "A-Punk"
181-184. Various Artists/Unknown
- "Your Mama Don't Dance"
- "Brown Eyed Girl"
- "Sugar Magnolia"
- "My Maria"
185. Vengaboys
- "Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!"
- "We Like To Party"
186. We Are Scientists
- "After Hours"
187. Yasuharu Takanashi
- "Fairy Tail Main Theme"
188. Yes
- "Owner Of A Lonely Heart"
189-191. 311
- "Amber"
- "Champagne"
- "Hey You"
192-196. 3OH!3
- "Double Vision"
- "My First Kiss"
- "Don't Trust Me (Benny Blanco Remix)"
- "I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby"
- "Starstrukk"
197. Darude
- "Sandstorm"

I lied, only 197. But enjoy, those of you that read my ramblings.

~Marina

Dear Blank.

I must be ripping off half a dozen people right now, but dammit, I want to join too!
The people that write letters to inanimate objects, I mean.

Dear tape,
Thanks for sticking with me.
Love, me.

Dear notebooks,
You are a neverending plethora of information, and more often than not, surprises.
Love, me, 6 years later.

Dear clothes hangers,
I find you useless now, since I have no closet in my room. Rather, my room is a closet. Please stop appearing on my floor, as you are rather uncomfortable to sit on. There is a nice cozy closet nearby where you would fit right in. Pack your things, I will move you there tomorrow.
Love, a person who folds their clothes instead.

Dear electric kettle,
Please learn the meaning of "comfortably hot."
Love, ruined taste buds.

Dear cat,
I know you love to investigate everything in my room, but if you'd refrain from curling up and gnawing on live power cords, it may cause me to have fewer panic attacks.
Love, technology junkie.

Dear bra,
Despite everything, you've still got my back. And my front.
Love, size D.

Dear dog,
Who's a good doggie? Do you wannnnnnna cookie? Want to go... OUTSIIIIIIIDE?
Love, me (at 2 in the morning, and sorry, but it'll have to wait. you can hold it.)

Dear patch of floor I recently moved my bed to,
I feel as if something has come between us. Maybe we can reestablish contact someday.
Love, sleepy.

Dear retainer,
Keep it together.
Love, post-orthodontic subject.

Dear laptop,
4 days without a crash. Good job. Let's keep it that way.
Love, college student.

Dear zombies,
*crowbar*
Love, Dr. Freeman.

~Marina

Nightly Routine.

I have none. What little routine there is, it usually consists of staying up too late reading other blogs.

Which brings me to my next point...

This blog. Hyperbole and a Half. I cannot for the life of me figure out why Blogger won't let me link the URL but it is hyperboleandahalf@blogspot.com. It is currently my favorite. Allie is FANTASTIC. Just go check it out, you'll see what I mean.

And because she is so ridiculously fantastic, she has a hell of a lot more followers than me, leading me to believe that I am doing something completely wrong here.

But that's okay.

~Marina

The Little Things.

There are a lot of issues I'm trying to figure out right now, but what I really want to focus on instead is the little moments and the little memories in my life that I look back on and smile about, or feel longing towards. They're my refuge in stormy weather, to use a horribly mangled common saying.

Nature park, September. Kevin gave me his coat because it was cool in the shadow of the trees. We sat in a clearing and held each other close as the forest transformed into a different world. We laughed and talked about things I never expected to vocalize. Kevin gets up, and with a half-uncomfortable, half-understanding smile, reads my thoughts and says "Whoa, we're entering into dangerous territory here." I noticed the details that confirmed that he felt what I felt. We ignored it and wandered through the park, noting every detail that was unnaturally vivid. We sat in the sun, our last summer's day, and looked across the field into the future.

Grandma's house, Christmas. Daniel needed to talk to me. We went onto the back porch and he wrapped me tightly in his arms and apologized for everything he'd done wrong to me. With tenderness, he turned his claddagh over on his finger.

Third street, any given A day lunch. Sitting with Jessica on the bench, legs crossed identically, smoking Camels or Marlboro Smooths and talking about anything and everything. Wandering into Ranch Records to peruse the stacks of vinyl. Waiting in the courthouse, deserted aside from us. Dancing with our friends, singing "Home" at the top of our lungs, holding beers or red plastic cups of wine while Lindsy played a tambourine. Winning our first game of water pong. Laughing as she said "I feel like I have mayonnaise in my mouth. Do you have mayonnaise in your mouth?" Making sure she got to bed and covering her with a blanket, and turning off the lights.

~Marina

"Home is whenever I'm with you."

Upside Down

So after much contemplation today, I have made a resolution to change my eating habits and get more exercise. After all, there is a stationary bike and a Tony Little Gazelle (yeah... we have one) in the basement. So today, I cut my portion sizes to a more reasonable level and drank tea instead of soda, and drank plenty of cold water on top of that. And decided, at 11:30 PM, I would work out because everyone was in bed.

So I did. I grabbed my iPod, a hoodie, workout clothes, and I headed down to the basement. 1 hour and a shower later, I feel fantastic. Now if I can just get up at 6 to do it again...

~Marina

Mind Over Matter.

I have found myself thinking a lot lately, often far into the early morning hours. Worrying. Planning. Analyzing. And all over something that is only mildly important to others but has become very important to me.

I've been happy with how I look for the most part for the majority of my life. But lately I've hit a proverbial wall.

Before my first term of college, I was 5'6" and 140 pounds.

After my first term I had gained 25 pounds, and have settled into a weight between 160 and 165. This puts my BMI just above the 'overweight' line for the first time in my life and it's a crushing blow to my self esteem.

I can't even stand to look at myself any more, so I plan to do something about it.

~Marina

New Friends, Old Friends.

Since graduating, I have noticed a distinct change that I had anticipated but had definitely not prepared for. I have lost touch with the majority of my friends that I used to see or at least text every day.

This is for my old friends.

I would spend a lot of time with Jessica, walking around Third Street every A day at lunch, sharing our love of Marlboro Smooths and Camel No. 9's and searching for good vintage clothes at the High Rack that has since gone out of business. We would always be able to talk about everything: boyfriends, male friends, the people we couldn't stand for various reasons. She was always there for me during the hard times and I was always there for her. She is still nearby but it's rare that I even hear from her. Jessica, I wish you the best in all your endeavors, and I hope to meet up someday soon, for old times' sake.

I spent many great days with Ashley. Though our plans rarely worked out, the times that we did hang out were always crazy fun. She never failed to point out, as Jessica often did, the times that I was being a complete moron, and the times that I was brilliant. I knew just where to find her, and I could always count on a conversation full of laughter. Her undying love for Marilyn Monroe always made me smile, and a brownie with a candle and a handwritten card was a wonderful birthday gift. It was great seeing her for sushi night a few weeks ago and being able to catch up. Ashley, I hope you're doing well and hope to see you again soon.

Sydney and I have been through a lot together. It started with Smosh videos in art class. We went on a haunted house excursion on Halloween, blasting 3OH!3 in her car and singing as loud as we could. We had a bonfire in her backyard, and made pink rice krispie treats and did aerobics in her kitchen late at night. We would hang out during lunch all the time, talking about the friend we lost to a cult-like church and going to Muchas to get the off-the-menu carne asada fries. There were great times in psychology and German class, and I will never forget the crazy skit we did that made Gebauer chuckle and the rest of our class stare. She's always been like my long-lost sister. Sydney, I miss you like crazy and I swear I'll get your birthday present soon! I'm crazy busy with Statistics though :P

Kevin has always been my best guy friend. It's scary how close we used to be. I always thought of him as the twin I never had. Whether it was ropes camp or cuddling with newborn kittens or hiking around Nature Park, I always had a wonderful time. Even when we had tough times we managed to overcome them and come back laughing. He knows me better than nearly anyone. Kevin, I hope this term treats you well and that we can spend some time together over the summer. I'd like to catch up and share some crazy college stories.

Kiwifruit and I haven't spent too much time together in person, now that I look back. I don't think I could have gotten through third year of ropes camp without her. But her obsession with Resident Evil and our roleplays brought us ridiculously close. Nothing like the power of collaborative fiction writing! She is a strong and independent woman and I hope to keep in contact with her long into the future. Kiwi, I have been calling you Kiwi for long enough that I occasionally forget your real name but rest assured I know it by heart nonetheless. We need to hang out so you can kick my ass at Resident Evil. Hope to see you this week in Portland! Best of luck in the near future at the Art Institute.

This is for my new friends.

Lauren is a fantastic roommate. Though she doesn't share my love of raw fish on rice, we both are a little kooky and crazy whether or not we are deprived of sleep. She is incredibly talented in everything she does. It's always a pleasure to come back to the room and discuss anything that comes to mind (namely, how much we should be cleaning and/or studying and how much we don't want to.) We have bonded over bettas and sugar cookies and many, many other things. Lauren, I look forward to spring term and hopefully seeing you often along the journey through Linfield!

The first and only person I've met from Turkey is Gulfem. She is a wonderfully enthusiastic person and completely brilliant. I don't think psych or music and change would have been the same without her. She is open-minded and accepting of everyone, and having her at sushi night was a blast. Gulfem, I can't wait till you're back in the States and maybe we'll run into each other between classes. I'll take you out to lunch sometime I hope!

To my old friends, to my new friends; I love you all and wish you luck, and hope to see you all very soon.

~Marina

Peppermint Winter

Yes, I'm a little overdue for a post. It's not a big deal though, because hardly anyone reads them anyways, but it's nice to have somewhere to throw ideas.

New year, new adventures (I hope). So far it hasn't been too eventful, and I start Statistics tomorrow. Christmas was great though. And I finally got to see Kevin before he ran back off to Eugene, and gave him his Christmas present; a glass pig with wings, which is a little mutual Pink Floyd reference.

Now it is entirely too late to be doing anything but sleeping, since I have to drive mom home from her appointment tomorrow. Unfortunately, I'm running a full virus scan and hard drive optimization to solve the irritating random crashes that my computer finds necessary. Apparently it's a common problem with Windows 7. Thanks, Microsoft.



This is Cookie, Han, and my sister's boobs. She hates me for this picture.

Damn... other than that I have nothing to say.

The end.

~Marina