Solar Sailor

When you are constantly tired, time loses its normal structure. You find that the enjoyable parts of your day become something like a dream. The less enjoyable parts drag on and on, and you note each second that passes.

Pink Floyd, as usual, describes it perfectly.

"And you run, and you run
To catch up with the sun
But it's sinking
And racing around
To come up behind you again"

"Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time"

It occured to me that not only was New Year's Eve two months ago, but I'm rapidly approaching my 19th birthday.

Some days, I spend hours thinking about making the most of my life, and I cannot fathom why I feel like I'm in such a rut.

I think the problem is the same that I face this time of year. It's March, there are a few weeks until break, and then a few months until summer. It's the second semester quagmire. I'm on autopilot. My sole purpose is to go to class and stay awake long enough to take adequate notes.

I get my mental clarity back after 11 PM or so, when I can lounge on my bedroom floor for a while and listen to music, and REALLY get into it. I can turn up the volume all the way and nobody complains about hearing it from my headphones. There's nothing to write down, nothing I'm obligated to do, and I can just enjoy myself.

It's my favorite time of day.

And I think my summery music is keeping me sane. I miss the sun.

~Marina